Why I Don't Care if Someone Says I'm Not a Christian

Christian: A word full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

I remember reading Macbeth in high school because of the haunting soliloquy on life. “Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” While I do not subscribe to the idea that life has no meaning, the quotation may be appropriately modified to fit the “Mormons-aren’t-christians controversy.” Because the word christian has been wholly hijacked by hucksters and frauds, it is appropriate to say that “christian” is a word spewed by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying, nothing.

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ (LDS), I am neither concerned nor offended that a man like Pastor Jeffress does not view Mormons as christians. Pastor Jeffress’ position in his mega church is akin to ancient officials selling indulgences; he is, essentially, a spiritual loan shark. Of course, the good pastor is not unique. The money-changing table equivalents of televangelism are ubiquitous in the United States. Among others, former presidential hopeful, Mike Huckebee, secured his financial future by promising prayers for “gifts.” While this is par for the course for the modern “christian,” to the objective viewer, relying on a for-profit preacher to define other faiths is like relying on the tobacco companies to, honestly, extol the health virtues of cigarettes.

The unfortunate effect of pimping out the once proud title “christian” to these hucksters and frauds is that the title itself has become cheap, hollow, and vacuous. It is little more than a marketing object, like McDonald’s Golden Arches, or Nike’s Swoosh. The purveyors of “christian” cannot slap it on bumper stickers or novelty items fast enough. One of my personal favorites is a billboard with an unassuming “christian” couple who, in a loving embrace, profess to have found a church they “can believe in.” As if their subjective belief has anything to do with what makes Christianity, well, Christianity.

In the arduous campaign surrounding Proposition 8 in California, the LDS church took the brunt of the financial and public relations hits. In the humanitarian aid world, the LDS church does more than any other “christian” church. The LDS church spends more time and treasure to follow Jesus’ commandment to “Go and preach the gospel to every creature”, than any other “christian” church. Our marriage rates are higher and divorce rates are lower than other “christian” denominations. We give liberally to charities, are highly educated, and well respected in the world. But still, our “christian” brothers and sisters, while outwardly thankful, make sure the world knows that they do not view us as christians. Thus, we see a perplexing paradox. If it looks like a christian, walks like a christian, and acts like a christian, it must be a Mormon. But, if it looks like a Mormon, walks like a Mormon, and acts like a Mormon, it can’t possibly be a christian. Such is the logic of the noble Pastor Jeffress and his ilk.

The title "christian" is not important to me. I know who I am. I strive to be a true follower of Jesus Christ. Pastor Jeffress, and apparently a huge percentage of other for-profit Machiavellians in stetson, have decided that is not enough to make me a christian. Fine. When they is ready to stop being christians and decide to start following Jesus Christ, I know a couple of geeky young men in white shirts and ties that will be happy to show them the way.